well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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