Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
