you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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