I got chris browned last night
This is not my ceiling
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
