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I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
