let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
