He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
