I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
