Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
