wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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