I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
