i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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