Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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