I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he thought i was a dude.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
