She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
