can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
