no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
