I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
