Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
be right there i have to get my cape
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
