I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
