I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
