I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
