i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
