so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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