haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
