what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
