The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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