Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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