I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
