so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
