from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize