Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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