So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
