Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Vodka?
Forever.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
