I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
