i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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