i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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