I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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