nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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