You're so nebulous sometimes
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Randomize