There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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