remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
