all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
