I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can you repeat that, but with context?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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