Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
