there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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