I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
