dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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