question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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