True but thats because hes a fetus.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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