Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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