I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
