No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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