Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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