That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
