she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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