The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
birth control should be required to get into college
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
