I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
worst night to have a conscience
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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