i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
