you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
