Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Don't make out with my wife yet
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
