apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i out mim tonsoeep
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