put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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